Friends & Family

I want to write a meaningful post, but really, I don't have the attention span at the moment. So many thoughts going through my head, and I don't know where to start.

I haven't wrote a poem in months, I haven't really written anything in months. I try but I can never finish anything. I started writing a story long ago, but just could never will myself to complete it. I've been wanting to write a short story but never had the time to start it. Even now, writing this, I have a million other things I should be doing. But I woke up early enough for it not to matter anyway.

I guess there are a few things I would like to say, just not sure how to get them out right without sounding like a total bitch. Remember those friends from the Frustrating blog? Well heres a quit update on them. One of them texted me this morning, hinting that she wanted to hang out, so I asked her what she was doing and she said hanging around town with a few friends. So I didn't bother asking her to hang out, she was already doing so with other people. So I casually threw in 'Ohh, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come over, but never mind.' and she got all defensive and asked why I wouldn't hang out with her friends .. I was kinda shocked, and besides I already had plans today anyway, but it never hurts to include her. But I didn't feel I should have to invite myself along to hang out with her and her friends, that I don't even know.

The other 2, I've pretty much given up on. Why would I want to be friends with people who I can never figure out how they feel about me. Some days I think they want to be friends, but others they basically flip out at me, ignore me, don't want to talk to me .. so it makes me feel as though they are just using me when they have no one else. I mean, one messaged me the other day asking if I could go somewhere with her, but I was already busy [much like always] so I couldn't. Then I realized a few hours later, she only asked me cause she had no one else. The same with before, she only asked me to hang out cause she didn't want to hang out with who she was with, or she had no one else to. And that's just not fair to me.

The 2nd one, she just.. I dunno. At this point in time, I can't really talk to her. She's all caught up in her own little world. She doesn't care what others have to say, she doesn't want to hear the truth, she just wants to do what she wants cause everyone else is wrong. Well I've been there. I know exactly what will happen. And I'm trying my best to stop it, but it's so damn hard with her. She ignores everyone nowadays, and I am getting so fed up with it.

So I've decided that I'm just not going to talk to them all for a few days, not like any of them would care anyway, they only use me when they have no one else to talk to or to hang out with. Lets see how long I can do it.

On another note, a more happier one. Yesterday was mother's day. And despite how horrible holidays are around my house, I actually had fun. No one fought, no one yelled or caused trouble. It was fun. The only bad thing was that my sister's boyfriend got bit by a dog and we had to call the cops. But all in all it was a good day. I'll be back later to carry on about my family .. I have a lot ot say.